What about in-game romances?

[Posted to Facebook 7/25]

Over the years, I’ve seen a lot at the table — dragons slain, friendships forged, and yes, romances attempted.

But here’s the honest truth: romance in TTRPGs is one of the hardest things to get right, and it’s something I generally discourage in my games.

I’ve run sessions where couples roleplay their real-life relationships, and I’ve watched long-time friends carefully explore character connections. I’ve played charming rogues, gruff mountain men, and even weird little goblins for scenes like that. But I’ve also seen how quickly romantic subplots—especially unexpected or unbalanced ones—can derail a game’s tone, make people uncomfortable, or even strain real-world friendships.

So, during Session 0, I make it clear that romance is not a core part of the games I run, and most NPCs won’t be presented as romanceable. This isn’t about being a killjoy—it’s about creating a comfortable and safe table for everyone, where no one feels awkward or pushed into emotionally complex scenes they didn’t sign up for.

Will I ever allow romance in a game? Sure, if the whole table agrees it’s going to be a campy, over-the-top, "wind billowing through the hair" romance-novel-cover affair played for laughs. But even then? Tons of communication. Clear expectations. Respectful boundaries. *Always.*

Because this hobby should be fun — not confusing, uncomfortable, or complicated.